Four coaches and a Team of 13 boys

This is a team of 8 year old boys who are playing "up" an age group. So, the majority of the opposing teams are comprised of 9 yr. old boys. Except for the 2 other U-8 boys teams, who are doing the same thing.

The purpose for playing "up" is to challenge the boys. After all, this group of 8 yr. old boys is destined for soccer greatness, didn't you know? Perhaps they'll become the core of the "A" (otherwise known as the top team) team of the club, the promise of college scholarships in the future. The parents are also destined for soccer greatness themselves, vicariously, through the feats of their sons.

Now for the four soccer coaches. This is an oddity, even in my vast experience sitting the sidelines, being the seasoned soccer mom that I am.

Coach #1. The Head Coach speaks in a very authoritative Irish brogue. This gives him the necessary air of a veteran soccer man, a man who studies the game. A man who's supposedly played semi-pro soccer in his youth on the island across the immense Atlantic. A man not to be trifled with, parents, or I'll take my son, his ball, and build a new 8 v. 8 team, and you'll keep your mouth shut and like it if you know what's good for you, thank you very much.

Coach #2. The Latin influence. This coach wants to emphasize the fluidity of the game, its improvisational qualities, its creativity. The boys will learn that soccer is like jazz under this coach. Too bad he is only available 1 practice out of 4 and rarely attends the games. He's silent on the sideline that's reserved for the coaches only; his style is to just observe the boys demonstrating their brilliant creativity.

Coach #3. The pompous wannabe. Coach 1 and 2 have something to offer, admittedly. Coach #3, not so much. He's played soccer for a short time in a rec. men's league, so now he's an expert. He wears is dark sports sunglasses, his black soccer warm-ups, playing the part perfectly.

Coach #4. The wise fool. Like #3, he is a recent convert to playing the game. He is also the loudest, most critical of the coaches, esp. toward his own son. Head Coach defines this as "exuberant. He brings passion for the game to the boys." Part of this "exuberance" is habitually contradicting Head Coach's instructions from the sidelines, his booming voice drowning out all others -- parents and coaches combined, leaving the boys in a state of confusion. He infuriates the opposition's parents when he volunteers to ref the sidelines yet continues his "exuberant" style of coaching with the flag (representing impartiality and soccer justice) in his hand. He enjoys slipping on his soccer "boots" and kicking around with the boys at practice. To him, practice is an opportunity for him to compete. He blasts the ball at adult strength, wins tackles with adult (albeit middle-aged adult) speed and agility. He yells instructions like, "Switch it!" without the boys' comprehension.

Head Coach can only attend one practice per week -- Thursdays -- and even then he must leave 10 min. early to coach his older competitive boys team. Coach #2 rarely contributes at practices as already stated, thus, Coach 3 and 4 -- the ones with minimal knowledge -- are the stalwart rocks upon which the boys can depend and flourish. Coaches 3 and 4 secretly wish they could organize a coup and take over the team, you can see it in their eyes, their manner of posturing.

Now for the 13 boys part of this post. The max on a 8 v. 8 roster is 12 according to youth rec. soccer policy. But our team has 13. That means at any given game, 5 little boys will be sitting the bench at any given time. Rec. soccer also has a pesky little policy that each boy must play at least half a game (25 min.). This is necessary for proper development. You can practice all you want, but the game is when you put everything you've learned into practice. And it's what the boys practice for -- to play! Another aspect of soccer development is to play in a variety of positions, so each kid truly can understand what the game is about and prepare them to become flexible players, something Top Team coaches down the road covet when building their competive teams. Managing these 2 issues -- playing time and rotating positions -- is a challenging task for any coach to master.

So, okay. This is where the 4 coaches come in, right? This is the benefit the boys will gain with all that combined wisdom over there on the sideline.

WRONG! Not one of these 4 coaches is tasked with keeping his eye on the watch. They all want to be Head Coach, after all, and each of their input is indispensable. They are all united in the desire to win at all costs. So, who they deem to be the core players play nearly the entire game (luckily, my son is one of these). And so the same unlucky boys habitually play less than 10 min. each (a clear violation of rec. policy). At least as many play maybe a max of 20 min.

Why am I concerned about this? I mean, my son plays the entire game, after all. I should be pleased. Unfortunately, I know that coaches are fickle creatures and most want to win at all costs. Today my son may be playing the entire game. Next month, he may be sitting the game out, grabbing handfuls of grass and cramming it down the backs of his teammates shorts, upturning his water bottle over his fellow bench warmers' heads. Today my son may be earning comments like "Great tackle, Andrew! Well done! Great ball!" Next month he may receiving comments like, "Sit down and shut up! Pay attention to the game, and maybe you'll learn something." OR "Um, I don't think I'll put you in second half. The game's too close."

Next month I may be starting my watch at the ref's whistle, keeping stats in my head of how long my son actually stayed in the game this week, comparing it to previous weeks. Comparing my son's playing time to his teammates'. Allowing the envy and bitterness to seep in.

I've been there too many times, and it's not a great place to be.